Egyptian Plagues & Sex-Crazed Resorts
by BTR Earth-Bender
Summary: Logan and Carlos hope to regain the spark in their relationship by going to a "resort", while Kendall and James have an adventure. Established Cargan and Kames, Sorry about sucky summaries. Corrections and advice are very appreciated!


Hi, this is my second story. Has established Cargan and Kames.

Grammar is really bad sorry, Read/review please!

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Logan bursts through his and Carlos' room in nothing but tight black boxer-briefs screeching "YOU SAID YOU FELT NOTHING!." Followed by Carlos, his boyfriend of 1 year, saying "It just slipped out, I didn't mean it!" he blurts out.

"Carlos you are implying that my penis is very tiny!" Logan shouts, heard throughout the apartment. James on the classic orange couch and Kendall in the kitchen making a snack. As they heard this, James drops the remote and Kendall shatters a plate. "No I'm not, I just didn't feel that much this time, THIS TIME!" Carlos shouts, hoping it would get across to Logan. During all this yelling, Kendall walks into the room; sitting down on the couch next to his boyfriend, James.

"Ha! You just emitted it! Well sex with you isn't a walk in the park for me either." Logan says, to angry to see Kendall and James' shocked expressions. "What's that supposed to mean?" Carlos shouts. " Well, let's just say it's like throwing a pickle down a batting cage." Carlos makes an "O" with his mouth, clearly astonished that Logan would say that. "Wait, wait, wait. Come on you guys what's happening here? You guys used to be so mushy but now, you're just fighting all the time; it's stressing everyone out." Kendall says to the couple, trying to pass on reason to the two. "Oh I'm sorry princess, maybe you can run back to your tower where you do nothing, like right now!" Logan snaps at Kendall. James becoming very angry glides over into Logan's face with long strides, anger and protectivness flowing into his eyes.

"That's my baby you're insulting Mitchell, I suggest you quit it before I punch you so hard you'll be shittin teeth." (A.U. Quote from James Gandolfini, R.I.P) James sneers out, using every will in his body to not hit Logan out cold. Nobody insults his blonde baby and gets away with it. Nobody.

Kendall buts in, trying to calm everyone done while Carlos just stands there, still looking astonished. "Okay, okay, how about everyone just calm down, we just need to help Cargan get back on their feet, spice up their love life." Logan looks at Kendall "Thanks Kendall, but we don't need 'spicing up" our love life, we have a perfect sex life." Logan boasts, Carlos doing a Lemon eye-roll at the statement. Kendall and James look at him like 'Are you shitting us right now?". "What?" Logan questions, confused. "Well I have the perfect plan for you two, there is this really great place in San Diego that's couples only, you'll have massages anytime, private pool, and most important of all you'll get a lot of alone time with Carlos." Kendall tells Logan with a suggestive look on his face. James notices, suddenly getting very jealous and warps his arms around Kendall's waist pulling said-blonde into his chest. Kendall glances up, damn seeing James so jealous is a real turn on. "It's okay Jamie, I still love you" Kendall pulls James' ear down for a whisper, "While they're gone, we can have the whole apartment to ourselves; Mom and Katie won't be back from a pre-determined task until next week." Kendall whispers in the most sexuall way he can. "Yah come on Logie, we can relax and unwind and just enjoy ourselves, you know?" Carlos asks Logan, begging him to take him; he needs it bad. He hasn't enjoyed sex with Logan for over a week now, feeling like it's more of a chore than anything and he knows Logan feels the same way.

"Yah, I guess you're right Care-bear; maybe we do need this." Logan sighs, he's going to half to do so much dancing after this!

"Okay, then it's settled we go tomorrow night, Kendall we- Hey where is Kendall?" Carlos asks. "And where is James?" Logan asks.

(Meanwhile)

"James yes, yes, yes, faster baby faster please! and deeper. Baby needs it so bad!" Kendall pants into James neck as said-pretty boy rams into Kendall with angled hips to get to Kendall's sweet spot.

(Time skip, Rocque Records)

"WHAT!" Gustavo shouts, they're producer or as Kendall likes to call him "Impending massive heart attack-man" had just found out about the Cargan couples trip to San Diego for the weekend and he was having none of it. They needed to be here for their singing! Not humping like rabbits in a sex-crazed resort! "YOU CAN'T GO! WE HAVE REHERSALLS AND SINGING TO DO!" He screams. "But Gustavo, we need this trip! Love is in danger. Please you have to understand!" Kendall pleads, trying to persuade his producer. Gustavo does understand, he had love once back in a small town in North Carolina, but he left her for his career and didn't want this to happen to his dogs. "Okay," he sighs "You can go," Carlos and Logan smile "But! You have to be back by sunday night!" Kelly buts in, who appeared out of nowhere "Come on Gustavo! Give them Monday!" She bargains with her boss. "Okay, Monday but you have to be here by nightfall understand?" They both nod, kind of creeped out but shrug it off. "Thank you!" They both say and run out the studio, excited to get going.

(Time Skip to the future!)

The trip there was not that long, only about an hour or so. While they got out of the car ready for the best hotel, they find a sleazy, old, dirty apartment complex that is covered in trash and filth. "What the hell is this!" Logan shouts; sighing, he knew this was a bad idea. "Leave it to Kendall to lead us to a toxic-waste dump." Carlos says, matching Logan's tone.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, James and Kendall were currently making-out on the kitchen counter, Kendall sitting on the counter with James' hands on his hips; holding him close.

"Hey! Eggheads! Stop sucking each others faces and get down here now!" Camille yells from the living with Jo right behind.

"What is it-" James stops after seeing Jo, his boyfriend's ex, which is really awkward. Seeing as she's an ex. "James, who is it-oh! Hi girls!" Kendall greets and smiles, not noticing the awkward atmosphere. "Hey, Kendall" They both greet him. "So,what are you ladies doing here?" He asks. "Well, while the shorties are away, we thought it would be fun to run around and cause trouble!" James walks and looks out the window, seeing pitch black. "At night?" He asks and Jo says "Yah! that would be fun right?" Hoping to mend her relationship with James. Just because they dated the same person, doesn't mean they need to battle it out. "Come on Jamie, please!" Kendall begs with puppy eyes. Just because Carlos is the best, does not mean Kendall isn't good at it. "Okay, but we are back by midnight, alright!" He confirms, though none listens, running out of the apartment on their "adventure".

At the Courtyard Maryhurl, the Cargan team were walking into the lobby seeing bugs and rats everywhere, then BAM! "Hello prisoners, I'm mean guests." A weird looking dude corrects himself. coming out of the shadows. Logan stood in front of a freaked out Carlos, feeling the need to protect him, Carlos blushes.

"Hey, we're here for the private pool room?" Logan asks, eyeing this guy with a questionable look. He didn't trust this guy. "Oh yes of course! You're the Mitchell room, I will show you to your room." The man tells them eyeing Carlos with an almost predatory look in his eye, which Logan did not like at ALL!

Carlos fidgets under his gaze but feels a hand slide into his and senses the pale boy walking close to him, making blush and feel almost protected. "Logie-Bear, I'm scared." Carlos whispers to Logan, looking at him with frightened eyes. Logan's heart suddenly split in two. "It's okay baby, you're safe with me, I'll always protect you."

As they made their way to their room the man stops, gives the keys to Logan and walks away eerily quiet. "Logie!" Carlos whines. "Go in! Go in!" He commands, pushing Logan into the room.

(Now with two blonde bimbos, and two girls)

"Camille do you know where you're even going?" Kendall whines/interrogates the brown haired girl. Stopping at a gate she says, "Yes, and we are there." While busting open the gate to a very big facility with big silos of some kind... "Camille what is this place?" James asks, looking around. He has never been to this part of town, even though LA is big. "This, is the uranium experimentation lab, and those," as she points to the silos " Are where three nuclear warheads are waiting to be disassembled." She states, unlocking the door and going inside. "Camille! We can't be in here, this is a highly sanctioned facility! We could get in very big trouble!" Jo whisper-yells at her friend. " Come on, this could be fun! We can play games and watch lab work and-" "Hey what the hell are you kids doing in here?" A man in a lab coat walks in with three other, very buff men. "Um, we were just, um-RUN!" Camille yells while the four of them run away. Almost to the door, Kendall trips, catching his fall on a big red button.

"Uh-oh." He says as he sees a bright light coming from the window. Looking out of it, the gang sees three giant cylinders of lights bursts past the ground going into the sky. "Uh-oh" Kendall says again, astonished at what he was seeing. "KENDALL! You just unleashed a nuclear holocaust and all you can say is 'uh-oh'?" Camille shouts and looks at it again, seeing that the missiles just keep going. "Oh no," she says, mostly to herself. "What is it Camille?" James asks, completely forgetting the four men in the room looking pissed.

"It's a High-Altitude Nuclear Explosion, that creates an electromagnetic pulse. Wiping out anything with a battery."

Back at the hotel, Carlos and Logan were in their pool, relaxing. Surprisingly the pool was clean and heated, and they were getting pretty cozy just one more little- BOOM. "What the hell was that?" Logan asks looking up, seeing a giant orange cloud appear only to have two more booms and orange gas."Is that a bomb?" Carlos questions." Its a HANE and I don't know why they would be sending those out now."

"But, it does make the sky look pretty." He mentions as he swims over to Logan, sitting in his lap. " I think the sparks back Logie, It's back!" Carlos shouts then kissing Logan while wrapping his arms over that pale neck he loved so much. "Oh baby, I'm ready when you a-are." Logan stutters out, kissing back and they had the night of their lives.

Time skip to midnight

While Carlos was snuggled up into Logan's firm chest, he felt a little squeeze on his bottom. Probably Logan, he thought, he always has liked doing that. But then, he feels it again, this time hard. He opens one eye seeing a random guy on his bed, fondling his rear end. "AHHHHHHH" Carlos screams before hitting the guy repeatedly until he got away.

After that, Logan final wakes. "What-what what's happening-snort-" Logan rambles. "Nothing sweetheart we're leaving now!" Getting his and Logan's things together and both running out of the hotel. Not even listening to the creepy guy from the shadows.

Time skip to the apartment

After finally being home, they walked to 2J holding hands and talking. "So, what did make you want to leave so soon?" Logan asks Carlos, realizing he never got an answer. "Oh it's nothing, just the bugs got to me." He says smiling. He didn't want to tell Logan he fought off a perv and make Logan feel less of a man.

"So, was it worth it?" Carlos standing outside of 2J with Logan holding hands. "Yah, it totally was, that was the best sex we have ever had. Plus I got my baby back." Logan said kissing Carlos, as he unlocked the door and went inside.

Their they meet a very weird site. James holding a gun at some police officers, one unconscious on the ground. Jo and Camille battle with sticks of uranium and Kendall was holding and mumbling acient Egyptian hieroglyphics from a very old book.

"What happened here?" Logan asks just as Kendall shouts "I'm unleashing the 12 plagues of Egypt on these ass'! MUAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." As locusts start flying around and two-headed pyramid lions jump out of vortex's, Logan says to Carlos. "You wanna get ice cream?" Carlos screams and kisses Logan deeply, "Of course I do!" He shouts and runs, Logan running after him and smiling.

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Hello! This is, again, my second fic. I hope it was good enough!

Sorry about Grammar/Spelling mistakes, read/review please!

Also, corrections are very appreciated.


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